spiers:

I was just reading some memorial pieces about Eve Sedgwick and it reminded me in a (completely lateral and nearly unrelated) way of an essay one of my alma mater’s professors, Dale Martin, wrote about why undergrad teaching is so abysmal at most research universities. It was a funny essay, mostly because—as the cliche goes—it was true. Here’s an excerpt:

The system doesn’t reward it. I’m always amused that most University students can be such good capitalists only when it suits them. They believe in ridiculous myths, like the “Free Market.” But then they expect the “market” of modern universities to have their interests at heart when it comes to the hiring and promoting of professors.

The professors who make the money are those who get outside attention (other universities, businesses, institutes). And they get in on the basis of their research and publishing. No one in Europe gives two cents whether I’m a good teacher. And if they don’t think I’m worth two cents, the University doesn’t either.

…Good teaching takes too much work. If we wanted to work that hard we’d have become public school teachers. It’s not that we’re lazy. We just don’t have the time. Let me take you through a typical day for me…Get up. Slowly. Eat three Advil and a bloody mary. Drink a pot of coffee and watch Rosie O’Donnell.

Sit in front of the computer and reminisce on how I defeated that arrogant Myrick from Harvard in front of 150 people at the New Orleans conference. Smile. Go to the Bryan Center Cafe for a double mocha latte. At the office: Call other gay professors and plot the overthrow of the traditional heterosexual family. Photocopy 10- year-old lecture notes so students won’t notice how yellow they are. Give lecture. Sneer at students.

Go to the faculty commons for lunch. Sit at the disgruntled professors’ table. Bitch about how lazy all our students are and how many vice presidents there are in the administration. Discuss whether the new black basketball uniforms were a self-consciously postmodern statement on the part of Coach K.

Afternoon: Sit in front of computer and think up titles for articles (worry about content later) (make sure each has a colon). My favorites: “St. Sebastian and the Masturbating Boy: Apologies to Eve Sedgwick,” “Deontologizing Eschatological Priapism: The apocalypse of Peter Lives Up to its Name.” Go to the Perk for a double mocha latte. Go to Academic Council meeting. Read Chronicle.

The full article is here. (“Roots of Poor Teaching at University Lie at Systemic Level”)

Sedgwick, who taught at said alma mater when its English department was in its heyday, was mentioned in the article as part of a what-passes-for-humor-in-academia line, which is why i went looking for it. (That said, I’m a sucker for academic humor, so I thought “Deontologizing Eschatological Priapism: The apocalypse of Peter Lives Up to its Name” was HI-LAR-IOUS.)

I remember this only because I co-founded a non-profit in college that was somewhat related to academia and as part of it, did a survey on teaching at the undergraduate level—which I naively imagined most undergrad professors actually wanted to do. I interviewed a little over 100 professors—thinking at the time that I might get a grad degree and teach at some point—and a handful of them burst into tears into the interview, citing frustrations with the tenure process and their careers in general, etc.  The people who were really good at teaching weren’t rewarded for it in any way.  Some were even punished for it, because they ostensibly should have been spending their extra teaching efforts publishing in academic journals. For better or worse, this was the single biggest factor put me off of teaching at the collegiate level as a long-term career. It’s not a long-term career. Publishing and doing research as an academic is.  At research universities, teaching is not.